Some days are hard.
There are times when the message that “it is always God’s will to heal” just doesn’t seem to be true. I’m not saying that it isn’t true, just that it doesn’t seem to be. Sometimes no matter how much faith there is, no matter how persistently we pray and declare truth over a situation, things just don’t happen the way they are supposed to. It seems like God isn’t listening, doesn’t care or simply isn’t able to intervene. As humans I think we have an inbuilt need “to know”. We need to know why. As a scientist I have built a career out of finding out answers. As a Christian, I have tried to understand the bible, its message, and how it all fits together. I often find myself in a position where my scientific brain is at odds with the fact that there sometimes just aren’t the answers I want or need in the bible. I suppose I shouldn’t be that surprised, after all, God tells us that “His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways.” That’s not to say we shouldn’t try to understand, just that when we come up against things that we don’t understand, sometimes that is the point.
King David spent much of his time questioning God, asking Him why He felt distant. Calling on Him to come and rescue one situation or another.
Throughout his questioning, no matter how dark the situation, one thing persisted. He was convinced that whatever happened, God was to be praised and trusted to do the right thing.
I’ve written a lot about peace recently. I honestly believe that it is possible to know a peace whatever the storm around us looks like, however the fierce or persistent the battering the boat we are in is taking. Some days it is easy to find that peace. Others, we feel like we have to go looking for it, but it’s there, and we can access it.
A song by the Newsboys has the following lyric.
“Lord, I don’t know where all this
Or how it all works out
Lead me to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt”
It is all too simple to have answers to the questions when there isn’t a real situation in front of us to have the answer to. When reality hits many will look for answers in the wrong places. They will question doctors, science, philosophy and the like. They may even try and change their theology to fit with their experience. My experience is that there is only one place where the peace I believe is accessible is found. Only one place where the answer will ultimately be found.
Until that answer comes, sometimes the only answer that makes any sense is “I don’t know.”
It’s ok to be in that position. It’s ok to grieve. It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to ask questions.
When we look for answers, I pray that we look in the right place.
Some trust in chariots, and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. (Psalms 20:7)